


Your Self Lingers

by Abyssia



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, First Time, Mutual Masturbation, Name Change, Scissoring, Trauma, Wedding Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:15:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24192685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abyssia/pseuds/Abyssia
Summary: Linhardt and Hapi are finally married, something that the two of them had never anticipated, but relish in all the same. On their wedding night, they reflect on how far they’ve come, and how far they have yet to go.An exploration of Hapi’s journey in learning how to feel again, in embracing the love that springs up, and in learning the joys of another’s touch.
Relationships: Hapi/Linhardt von Hevring
Kudos: 6
Collections: Hapi x Linhardt, Linhilde





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now have an AU where lin is a girl named Linhilde because I said so. More fics in this continuity are upcoming. Enjoy the happy wives~

Hapi and Linhilde lie splayed out on the lavish bed, chests still heaving from their hurried rush up the stairs. Once their backs meet the soft surface, it is as if every stress and inconvenience of the day just instantly floats away. They are married now. With Linhilde’s title having been relinquished, there is no calculation, no obligation saddled to their union.

Linhilde’s head lulls to the side and she casts her eyes upon Hapi’s profile. Hapi always looked beautiful to Linhilde, but Linhilde had to admit that Yuri and Coco have done an excellent job for the occasion. Hapi’s hair, it’s copper hue had been lathered to a shine; her skin nearly luminous. Although unfortunately, the rouge applied to her lips has already been kissed away by her new spouse.

They had kissed once during the ceremony, as mortifying as it had been to share such affection in public. But really, after saying the words of their vows, while holding Hapi’s hands; feeling Hapi place the ring upon Linhilde’s finger, with all of that, Linhilde was all but helpless to resist.

During the celebrations afterwords, they had managed to refrain, however. Crowds were never their strong suit, and the cacophony made them both tense. They tolerated it as long as they could, for the sake of their loved ones in attendance. And in the end, no one at the party was surprised or offended when they finally slipped out hand in hand.

Hapi’s eyes slide open, and she turns to look at Linhilde in return. Dorothea and Ferdinand had been responsible for combing and twisting Linhilde’s silken hair into a cascade of gentle braids, woven in a way not meant to hide its jagged length, but instead to accentuate her striking features.

Hapi reaches out and places a hand to her pale cheek. She rubs her thumb against the rouge on Linhilde’s skin and just gazes upon her new wife for a few moments. Hapi knows that Linhilde never cared much about her own appearance, but Hapi appreciates the efforts, for the sake of their wedding day.

Linhilde lifts a hand to cover Hapi’s, and wordlessly draws her hand to Hapi’s lips. “I suppose right about now is when we are meant to descend together into a night of married bliss.”

Hapi doesn’t reply at first, her eyes instead caught by the glinting ring on Linhilde’s left hand.

“Although, you as well as I have no time for what we are ‘supposed to do’.” Indeed, there was no obligation as to their activities together as a couple either. It had not been any sort of noble pledge of abstinence that had kept them from indulging before now. What kept Linhilde’s touches hesitant, and her fingers tracing over her clothes was something that not even their shared rebellious nature could easily dispel.

Hapi’s eyes then flick up to meet Linhilde’s, her lips curling into a gentle smile. Hapi entwines her fingers with Linhilde’s, and pulls herself closer, settling in against her chest. “Yeah, honestly? I’m just exhausted right now.”

“As am I,” Linhilde says while resting her chin upon the crown of her head.

It had by no means been any easy journey up until this point. And perhaps just a thin layer of disbelief continues to hang over them. Linhilde, still mystified that Hapi had turned out to be receptive to her feelings in the first place; Hapi, baffled by the emotion she had once thought to be lost that finally started to bloom at the touch of Linhilde’s fingertips.

Because now, Hapi does respond well to Linhilde’s touch. Linhilde’s hand rests against Hapi’s back and her shoulders lift, a delighted shiver runs through Hapi’s body as Linhilde’s fingers brush along the opening of Hapi’s dress. Linhilde cherishes this above all else. Such a simple pleasure, in comparison to the impossible joy that Linhilde feels now that Hapi could be called her _wife..._

But Linhilde, unfortunately remembers the recent past as clearly as ever.

Simple, unimportant memories they should be, but now forever enshrined, as they were with Hapi. Every moment Linhilde has spent with Hapi has metamorphosed into something indescribably precious. Even, in a way, also have the painful memories.

For reasons that Linhilde has yet to interrogate, after Hapi joined the black eagles class, professor Veles had seen fit to pair Hapi and herself together for group activities quite often. Linhilde dreaded all of them, excruciating manual labor that Linhilde had no interest in. Linhilde did however, always have a particular interest in Hapi. Perhaps that had been what their dear professor had noticed, a way to get Linhilde to do her fair share of chores while also allowing Linhilde to indulge in something that interested her.

And Linhilde did stare, quite a lot, and her concerns often rested upon Hapi. After Linhilde learned of Hapi’s ability, her mind quickly spun up every possible way to keep Hapi from calling monsters—to keep her from sighing. This meant that Linhilde did a little extra work to keep Hapi from tiring, always brought along enough food and drink for both of them, and made sure to pour tea if ever they were caught in the rain.

Hapi dismissed this at first, as Linhilde herself had all but told her to. _“Yes, of course I am doing this for my own sake, your sighs are disastrous. And I am not cut out for fighting.”_

Disastrous, as Hapi’s face would fall, her shoulders slump, and she would disappear for days. Not wanting to hurt anyone—not wanting to endanger anyone. And Linhilde found that she quite missed Hapi’s company whenever she decided to seclude herself. And so, it was only natural to do everything Linhilde could to prevent that.

In the end it wasn’t much to ask. Linhilde enjoyed the time spent with Hapi, and as things went on, Linhilde found that the fondness only deepened.

Hapi’s feelings for Linhilde in return? They were a bit more of a mystery. However, they did not appear to be much more than begrudging tolerance.

If Linhilde so much as grabbed her wrist, or placed a hand on her shoulder to—Hapi immediately jerked away. An instantaneous, almost violent reaction. And so accordingly, Linhilde tried to avoid touching Hapi if at all possible, resolving to just help her when their assignments demanded it.

Hapi, however, didn’t appear to make any additional efforts to avoid Linhilde. In fact, she seemed to enjoy spending time with Linhilde in return.

“You’re the only one...Linny,” Hapi said one day, as she lay sprawled out on the grass next to Linhilde, the shade of a tree just blocking out the sun enough to be comfortable.

“Hm?” Linhilde replies, having only narrowly avoided falling into a dose.

“You’re the only one who never runs away. You’re so weird.”

Linhilde looked over at Hapi, some of her bangs falling along her cheek. Hapi was still looking up, eyes distant, the afternoon light adding a sheen of gold to her rosy hair. “I am not sure if that is meant to be a commendation or a criticism.”

Hapi lets out a dry huff. “It’s whatever you want it to be, Linny.”

“No,” Linhilde says, somewhat seriously. “I would like to know what you meant, in specific.”

Hapi’s head lulls a bit in her direction and her eyes rest on her face briefly. “I don’t get it. You’re scared of me, right?”

“As long as you aren’t made to sigh, then there is nothing to be afraid of,” Linhilde replies plainly.

Hapi’s lips press together in a frown. “Yeah but...I still don’t get why you would want to just hang out with me regardless...”

Linhilde shrugs, stretching her arms above her head with a yawn. “To be honest, I am not quite sure myself,” her eyes fall on Hapi as she rolls onto her side. “Perhaps that is why. I wish to understand why, and because of that, I must spend even more time with you.”

Hapi raises an eyebrow back at Linhilde. “Whatever. It’s not like I’m gonna try and stop you.”

Linhilde’s lips tug into the smallest of smiles. “In that case, could it be that you actually enjoy spending time with me in return?”

Hapi frowns, rolling over onto her side so that her back faces Linhilde. She wanted to respond, but couldn’t. She honestly didn’t know how she felt. Some feelings were certainly flaring up in her chest, but she had no names for them. These feelings were pesky, annoying, but when she was with Linhilde...largely they weren’t unpleasant at the very least.

Even on the battlefield, they found each other’s company quite often. Despite her deadly magical skill, Hapi, like Linhilde, had a deep distaste for fighting. And so she studied Healing more, and hung back with Linhilde among the wounded. Little did she know, that soon such horrors would become quickly far more commonplace.

Edelgard’s sudden invasion and being forced to flee Garreg Mach had been confusing and distressing to say the least. Even if the knights had lied, even if she had been forced to live underground, it was the closest thing to home that Hapi had known since leaving her village as a child.

But even with such drastic changes, Hapi had the other wolves, and her new friends among the eagles. And also it seemed, she still had Linhilde. They spent perhaps even more time together during the war. The fighting first broke out in western Adrestia, where Linhilde’s home territory and indeed, Hapi’s village were. Constance’s former territory too saw the first touch of flames.

Perhaps she should have seen it coming, then. Their continual closeness was bound to give rise to something deeper. But Hapi, after all, knew nothing of that. Even as the war saw them continue to work together, Hapi was merely drifting along, floating along to whatever didn’t immediately hurt.

However, sometimes even Linny brought her pain. As back then, she couldn’t stand to be touched by her. Linhilde's hands buzzed with magic, even when not a spell; and at times the way Linhilde’s eyes raked over Hapi’s body made her feel exposed and trapped in a way she desperately didn’t want to remember. Even as the years stretched out between now and her captivity, those invisible scars still littered her skin.

“Hapi,” Linhilde says, turning to her suddenly one day.

“Yeah?” She replies, not looking up from her book immediately. “I’ve gotten to thinking, I think I know why I wish to spend so much time with you.”

“Oh? Spit it out then,” she idly turns to the next page, although truly her eyes were not really absorbing the words.

“I am romantically interested in you, Hapi.”

This makes her pause and close the book with a snap. Some sort of feeling wells up. Shock? Disbelief? She isn’t quite sure. But as it settles, she starts to realise, no, this is normal. Of course Linhilde would want this.

“Okay then...not sure how I am supposed to react to that, to be honest.”

Linhilde slides her sea blue gaze over to her, and Hapi makes the mistake of meeting her eyes. Where they sit now, in a secluded area of the imperial palace, Linhilde’s face is outlined by low candlelight, the shadows showing how even in the course of just a year, the round cuteness of her jawline has started to harden. A genderless elegance has begun to emerge in her features, her hair, and the line of her shoulders.

“No reaction, nor response is required,” Linhilde says somewhat casually, although Hapi could swear she saw a flash of some other emotion deep in her gaze. But Hapi cannot examine it further as Linhilde quickly moves her eyes away.

Hapi remains silent for a while. “Romantically interested huh? Now what does that mean?” She places the book on a side table and knits her hands together. “What, do you want to kiss and hold hands, go on cute dates? Now? In the middle of a war?”

“I would like to do those things, even if the current moment is rather contentious,” Linhilde pauses. “Honestly, I want to continue as we are now. Just spending time with you is deeply gratifying.”

Hapi glances at Linhilde nervously but finds that Linhilde is now just staring at her own hands.

One of Linhilde’s hands flex and her lips press into a pout. “I find you very attractive. I would like to touch you, however,” this does cause Hapi to react, although she cannot quite name the emotion. “I want to make you smile, I want to make you happy—” Linhilde clamps one hand over the other, as if needing to restrain herself. “I want to bring you pleasure, physically,” her lips the pull into a small sad smile. “Although, you have always seemed to dislike whenever I touch you, so I can only assume that those physical feelings are not reciprocated.” While Linhilde rarely emoted in a way that was detectable to anyone else, Hapi had been with Linhilde long enough the hear the sad note in her voice as loud as a scream.

“Linny...”

Hapi felt something, she definitely did. She wanted to let it linger, let it stay a while and maybe learn it’s name. But no, she couldn’t. She couldn’t allow herself to feel, not too strongly—no, not at all. Every emotion she had, she had developed while in that woman’s clutches. It all connected back to her. Everything was a taut thread pulled to breaking, linking back to the memories even as she desperately pushes them from her mind.

A child of nine years old; cut off from the world and groomed for a life of boring spiritual significance to the village; she had know little besides trivial happiness, sadness, maybe some confusion. But after leaving the village, she had tasted more; joy, wonder, elation— and then far too soon, the full spectrum of the darker half of feelings was then seared into her.

“Hapi?”

She had been spacing out, and Linhilde’s concerned voice and her worried face dragged her back.

She had no experience with the more tender emotions, let alone them being reciprocated. It was unknown to her, and such things naturally terrified most people.

But not Linhilde.

And not the young girl that Hapi had once been.

Back then, the unknown had excited her. Perhaps then, now, she can take at least one step into that unknown once again.

She pushes herself up from her seat and Linhilde looks away, perhaps expecting her to leave. But before Linhilde fully realises what is happening, Hapi instead sits in Linhilde’s lap, straddling her. Hapi looks down at Linhilde, her expression yet unreadable. And indeed, even she herself didn’t understand it.

“Linny,” she begins. “I don’t know how I feel about you. But I know that I don’t hate you. I...like being around you. It’s comfortable. And...I even get lonely when you re not here..”

Linhilde gazes up at her, unable to look away.

“Linny. Is that okay? If I...don’t know how I feel as clearly as you do. But I want to be with you,” she looks back at Linhilde. “And I...I want you to feel that way about me. I want you to want me.”

Linhilde’s fists clench by her sides. “Hapi, may I touch you?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Linhilde lifts her hands and places them on the small of her back. Linhilde then leans her face against Hapi’s shoulder and takes in a deep breath. “Hapi...” Linhilde sighs.

Hapi tightens her arms around Linhilde’s back and leans her face into Linhilde’s neck in return. Linhilde smells nice, and is so very warm. Hapi doesn’t know what she wants. She doesn’t hate being this close to Linhilde. She doesn’t hate her lips pressed against her neck. Does she...like it? Does she even....remember what that feels like? A warm, pleasant feeling of relief. Something besides dread and crippling horror. Without those constant assaults of sensation and pain, she ended up just feeling empty.

Linhilde’s hands move up along Hapi’s back and Hapi tenses. “Hapi, are you really alright with me touching you?” Linhilde asks while pulling away.

Hapi doesn’t meet her eyes. “Sure, yeah I guess.”

Linhilde then moves her right hand across Hapi’s back, moving forward around her shoulder to rest on her exposed collarbone. The whole time, Hapi’s jaw clenches and her body twitches as if repulsed by the fingers on her skin.

Linhilde’s lips form into a deep frown. “Your body is not exhibiting a very favourable physical reaction.”

Hapi doesn’t have a reply to this, and only stares down in a vague direction—anywhere but her face. Linhilde's expression— it is near heartbreaking. Linhilde looks devastated, and Hapi can hardly even imagine why.

Linhilde lets her hands fall away, while Hapi does not make to move. She just sits there while Linhilde takes in a few steadying breaths. “Perhaps I should instead show you,” Linhilde says, taking a gentle hold of one of her hands. “How one reacts when touched by someone whom they desire,” Linhilde closes her eyes and places Hapi’s palm against her own cheek. Linhilde leans into that touch and lets out a contented sigh. Hapi, all the while, finds her eyes to be locked on Linhilde’s face.

Linhilde’s eyes flutter open slightly, her thick eyelashes illuminated by the flickering candlelight around them. Hapi’s fingers twitch against her skin, but she can’t quite find the will for them to move. Linhilde then draws her hand down to her neck letting her feel through the fabric. Once her hand reaches her chest Linhilde lets out a short gasp. Linhilde tugs at the buttons of her own blouse until some skin is exposed. Linhilde then guides Hapi’s fingers inside the shirt while unbuttoning it to the navel.

Linhilde shudders and her cheeks grow pink. Hapi sees this, feels the tightening grip on her hand, how Linhilde leans into her touch. Hapi isn’t yet sure what she’s feeling, or if it’s even good or bad. But she knows that she is drawn in by this. Wants to hear more of these sounds from Lin, wants to feel her more.

Hapi splays her fingers out on Linhilde’s left breast, her other hand lifting to join it. With this, Linhilde’s own hands fall away and loop around Hapi’s waist again. Hapi pushes Linhilde’s shirt open, and watches Linhilde with deep fascination. She knows, she understands that people being touched by others can bring pleasure. She heard talk of it, occasionally read about it, but it had always seemed to distant, so unattainable.

But in this moment, Linhilde’s skin at her fingertips, the sensation is real, and it is so warm. Hapi’s hand passes over Linhilde’s nipple and she lets out a soft ‘ah’. Hapi rubs her thumb along the pink bud, circles it, pinches lightly. Linhilde reacts favourably to it all, her breath hitching, chest shifting and moving with Hapi’s touches, and she even feels Linhilde’s legs and hips move underneath her.

One hand drifts down to lightly caress Linhilde’s side which elicitsa sound unlike any Hapi had heard from Linhilde before. A little staggering gasp and she can feel the thrill go up Linhilde’s spine. Linhilde's eyelids hover somewhere between heavy with desire and wide with the thrill. Linhilde's lips fall open as she places both hands on her sides, gently running them up and down between her hips and rib cage.

Hapi notices that Linhilde’s lower lip is a little swollen and wet from her teeth biting into it. Her eyes are locked there, even to the point that her touch becomes infuriatingly light. Linhilde notices and leans her forehead in to rest against hers.

“Hapi...” Linhilde breathes. “Do you understand? It is lovely to be touched like this in general but,” Linhilde gasps. “This is far better. I always wondered, but now I know. It is far more pleasurable to receive the touch of someone precious.”

Hapi feels some heat flood her face, a tingle along her nerves. A rush similar to when Linhilde had first said those words, that she was important, that Linhilde was interested in her. But now that heat burns brighter and her hips find that they need more. More pressure, more closeness. Hapi tightens her legs around Linhilde’s waist and grinds her hips into Linhilde’s. Linhilde now fully moans, and the heat burns stronger. Hapi can feel—really truly feel something pooling in her stomach something— something almost like—

“Ah—” Hapi gasps. “Linny,” she suppresses a sigh. “It feels—”

“Yes? How does it feel?”

“It feels...” her hips begin a regular rhythm against Linhilde, an undulating, growing pressure. “Good. Linny—It feels...so good,”

“Hapi...” Linhilde’s lips tug into a smile. “That overjoys me to hear.” Linhilde's face grows closer, until her breath is felt upon Hapi’s lips. “Hapi, may I kiss you?”

“Yeah,” she answers, closing the distance between them at last.


	2. Chapter 2

In the present, Linhilde lets out a sudden giggle, enough to drag Hapi from her doze. “Linny?”

“Ah, forgive me. I hope I did not wake you.”

Hapi shrugs and nuzzles against Linhilde’s collarbone. “It’s rare to hear you laugh.”

Linhilde moves one hand to resume rubbing along Hapi’s back. “I was simply…reminiscing, is all.”

Hapi’s lips press into a small frown. “I hope it wasn’t something embarrassing.”

“Not at all,” Linhilde assures. Her hand moves from Hapi’s back to her shoulder, Linhilde pulls back a little and runs her fingers over Hapi’s exposed shoulder and collarbone. Entranced by how Hapi leans into the touch and lets out little sighs of pleasure. This is something that Linhilde deeply cherishes.

“Do you remember, Hapi. The first time I touched you like this?”

Hapi’s gaze meets her. “Yeah? What about it,” she ponders. “That was also when you confessed to me, right?”

“Correct,” Linhilde replies. “I am simply observing how stark the contrast is,” she says, drawing her hand up to rest on Hapi’s cheek. “Perhaps now, those painful memories can soon be forgotten,” Linhilde murmurs.

Hapi’s eyes dart down, her cheeks warming slightly. “You can touch me a little more, you know,” she whispers. “We are married now. After all.”

Linhilde frowns. “Forgive me, if based on past experiences I do not take that permission at face value.”

Hapi’s face falls. “Right...”

“You need not feel guilty about that.”

“I’m still sorry about it,” she replies. “I guess, well. I feel bad when you feel bad, you know?”

Linhilde still appears to be displeased. “Hapi...” she mutters into Hapi’s neck. “Yes, that first touch was dreadful. I never want to do something like that again,” Linhilde says while letting her hand fall from her face. “To see you recoil from my touch... I think it hurt more than if you had rejected me outright.”

Hapi shifts, pulling herself up along Linhilde’s body to get an easier look at her face. “Well, at least you know that it’s wasn’t about me not liking you.”

“Yes, I am relieved about that fact.”

Hapi shifts a little closer to Linhilde. “I liked you touching me, just now,” she says softly.

“I could tell.”

“Then touch me a little more?”

“Hapi, I hope you don’t have any ideas in your head...about tonight,” Linhilde grimaces. “Wedding night or not, I—”

Hapi grabs a holds of Linhilde’s hand and places it to her breast, causing her words to die in her throat. “There. That’s fine, see? I want you to.”

Linhilde’s eyes are wide as she stares at the hand cupping Hapi’s breast. Hapi’s fingers squeeze around her hand, coaxing Linhilde to grope her breast. She does, and Hapi lets out a stuttering pleased sigh. Linhilde then begins to carefully massage her breast, looking back up to Hapi’s face. There she sees Hapi’s relaxed, pleased expression, and those sparks of nervousness quickly melt away.

While Linhilde had scarcely been able to touch her, Linhilde had still been blessed with seeing her consumed in pure bliss; had seen her body quiver as she rode the waves of pure ecstasy. And now, Linhilde starts to finally see that nearing possibility that Linhilde might be able to do so herself at long last.

“Speaking of old memories,” Hapi continues. “Remember that time in the bath house?”

Linhilde’s face flushes a deep crimson. “I assume you mean...the first time?”

Hapi laughs. “Yeah, that one,” she pulls close again and loops an arm around Linhilde’s back. “The whole time, I was imagining that it was you who was really touching me,” she whispers. “I want to feel that for real, Linny.”

Linhilde swallows thickly, letting her eyes fall closed as she focuses on the sensations that indicate Hapi’s relaxed state, her comfortable closeness, her building affection.

“Maybe,” Hapi says, suddenly nearing her face and causing Linhilde to shiver from the sensation of her breath. “You can even make me climax with your tongue. Taste me just like you have always wanted to.”

A powerful shudder suddenly courses through Linhilde’s body and she finds herself clinging tightly to Hapi’s dress. “Please,” Linhilde wheezes. “I must insist that you not to taunt me like that.”

“I mean it. I want you to, eventually. Maybe tonight is the night.”

Linhilde takes in a deep steadying breath. “Hapi...”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

—

While after that first encounter, things appeared to cool between them, it was undeniable that a certain kind of tension remained under the surface. During their time staying in the imperial headquarters, it wasn’t hard to find themselves alone. On one particular day when many of their fellow generals had been called away, Hapi takes this opportunity to properly indulge.

Having just returned from a long assignment herself, she heads to one of the large communal baths on the premises. Entering, she finds it to be totally empty, she could almost sigh with relief. The steam feels heavenly against her skin, and the weeks of grime and sweat almost feel as if they are already melting away. She doesn’t bother with a towel and strides over to the showering station and quickly grabs a jug to fill it up.

The water is refreshingly cool as it pours over her head, trailing down her back, leaving her copper-red hair sticking to her shoulders. She gives a little shake and a shiver. Her nipples are now tight and hard, a series of goosebumps also springing up along her arms. She then turns around to grab a rag from a nearby rag to scrub herself. However, in the process, she finds herself stopped in her tracks.

Looking up, she sees a figure framed in the doorway. It was Linhilde. Linhilde herself had decided to forgo a towel covering, likely assuming like she had that no one else would be present. Linhilde's eyes are on Hapi, as they always are. Perhaps Hapi should be embarrassed, but as with most things, she doesn’t feel anything. Hapi trusts Lin, might even like her. So she can think of no reason to cover herself.

“Hapi,” Linhilde says, swallowing thickly. “If you’d rather bathe alone, I can leave.”

“Mm?” She turns fully towards Linhilde, idly running the washcloth over her breasts and upper arms. “There’s more than enough room for both of us,”

Linhilde grimaces. “If I remain, I will not be able to to resist...staring, at your body. I have been told that can be unwanted behaviour.”

Hapi shrugs. “I don’t mind, I guess.”

“Are you sure about that?” Linhilde asks, her voice becoming firm, and even a hint of sadness entering her face. Hapi remembers that look, the same distant sorrow as when Linhilde had caressed her, only to have Hapi recoil from her touch.

“I dunno. How about you look and we see how I feel?” She removes the washcloth from her body and holds her arms out to either side.

Linhilde's eyes drag down along Hapi’s form, not unlike Linhilde often did when Hapi was still clothed. “Hapi, you’re beautiful.”

This was not the first time Linhilde had said such a thing about her, but it never failed to make her cheeks warm in a way that she couldn’t quite dismiss. 

Hapi’s weight shifts from one foot to the other, her hips swaying as she curls her arms back in on herself. Hapi looks down at her own body, which by then had begun to fill out, she was no longer the scrawny, scared child that had been locked away for all those years.

Hapi glances back up at Linhilde and then rests her hands tentatively on her chest. She sees Linhilde gaze follow them, and then she draws her hands down her body. A peculiar sensation starts to prickle across her skin, and she shifts her hips again, squeezing her thighs together with a small sound of satisfaction.

“Hapi,” Linhilde asks. “Are you...becoming sexually aroused?”

It was similar to how she had felt when caressing Linhilde in that study, and the several times she had curled up close with Linhilde in the time since.

“Yeah, I think so,” she says,Glancing nervously away and then back at Linhilde. She knows that Linhilde won’t try to do anything to her. So why does she still feel...disappointed? Displeased? “Anyway, you’re here to bathe right?” She says walking over to sit herself at the edge of the pool.

Linhilde picks up the jug that Hapi had been using and goes about washing herself down.

Hapi’s feet dangle into the water, but she doesn’t feel like getting in, she feels a bit too hot already.

Every now and again, she glances back, letting her eyes rest on Linhilde’s body in return. Feeling how it threatens to stir something within her. And for once, she wasn’t afraid of it, she wanted to feel more. Linhilde has always been beautiful and elegant. Even though she never seemed to care about moving with intentional poise, it didn’t help the way her body grew and matured over the years. Linhilde too had developed since their school days. No longer the skinny teenager, but a mature woman with generous curves to match. Hapi finds herself more attracted than anything approaching jealous.

When Linhilde finishes up, she sits down next to the pool a courteous distance away from Hapi.

Hapi doesn’t like that. She doesn’t like Linhilde being so far away, she wants Linhilde to be closer. And her body still feels hot, but not quite in an uncomfortable way. Hapi shifts her hips again and spreads her legs a bit, looking down at the patch of dark red hair that decorates her pubis mons. She considers it and very slowly moves a hand across her thigh.

“If you feel the need to masturbate, go ahead,” Linhilde says, sudden enough to startle her.

“Wh—what!?” she sputters, although doesn’t move her hand away.

“I don’t mind, unless you want me to leave. I can even keep watch. Although I highly doubt anyone else will arrive for quite some time.”

Hapi bites her lower lip in contemplation. “No…I don’t want you to leave,” she says, then processes what Linhilde had said. “Does this mean that you…would want to watch me?”

“Of course,” Linhilde says, her lips curling into a smile that was far too sweet and casual for the circumstances. But Hapi somehow didn’t mind. Really, any other reaction just wouldn’t be Linhilde. “Ideally I would want to be the one pleasuring you.”

“Hapi then glances away, shifting again where she sat. “To be honest, I…wouldn’t even know where to start,” she says. Perhaps anticipating some kind of judgement or at least surprise. When talking with the other girls among the Strike Force, that disclosure had been met with some disbelief, and even a little bit of pity.

“I can teach you, if you’d like.” Being with Linhilde as long as Hapi has, she isn’t confused or put off by statements like this anymore. She knows Linhilde means it, she knows this is just how she speaks. And so, she has no reason to hide what she herself feels, and she nods her head. Linhilde’s smile then grows wider.

Hapi pulls her feet out of the bath and turns her body towards Linhilde. Linhilde is clearly not unaffected by her intense gaze and glances down in embarrassment. But despite this Linhilde does the same, facing Hapi and spending her own legs.

“Like this,” Linhilde says, drawing a hand down her stomach to rest between her thighs. her breath hitches as her fingers part her own labia and find her clit, already pulsing and sensitive from beholding Hapi’s ravishing form.

Linhilde then proceeds to explain, Hapi watching Linhilde with rapt attention. Her breathing starts to come a little heavier, and her eyes do not move from between her legs. Linhilde moans and writhes, keeping a close eye on Hapi, pleased when she starts to tentatively probe between her own legs.

Hapi gasps and holds back a sigh, finding her clit and then slowly finding a rhythm according to Linhilde’s instructions. It takes a little getting used to, but she starts to understand. Linhilde is patient, her voice is gentle, and everything about Linhilde so beautiful to behold.

“Nnng....” Hapi reaches out her free hand. “Come...closer,” she beckons. Linhilde follows, removing her hand to crawl towards Hapi on all fours. Hapi lies down and then spreads out on her back, gently rubbing her clit all the while she still reaches for Linhilde.

Linhilde approaches, sliding up to one side, propping herself up as to gaze down on her. “There,” Hapi says, her eyelids drooping and her cheeks flushed. “I want to look at you and—” she grimaces and lets out a strained moan. “I want you to watch me.”

Linhilde nods, balling up her free fist and staying right there by her side. “Of course.”

“Tell me,” Hapi gasps, clenching her thighs around her own hand. “Tell me what you want to do to me.”

Linhilde stares, mouth falling open as she looks Hapi up and down. Even though Linhilde was no longer touching herself, the flame of her arousal continued to be fanned by Hapi's moans, the arch of her back, the squish of her thighs and the fall of her breasts. “Hapi I...” Linhilde swallows thickly. “I want to bring you to orgasm,” she begins. “I want to be the one that makes you shudder with my my fingers and tongue,”

Hapi feels a sudden flush of warmth, rubbing her clit along with Linhilde’s descriptions.

“I want to run my tongue up along your labia, to your clitoris and suck it tightly between my lips,”

“Aah!” Hapi moans, clenching her thighs together and rutting back against her hand.

Linhilde continues. “I want to kiss your thighs, caress your breasts, suck on your nipples,” Linhilde pauses, licking her lips. “Anything and everything that can bring you pleasure.”

“Linny...”

“I want to taste your essence, I want to drown in it,” Linhilde says, her eyes darting down between Hapi’s legs.

“You want to taste my—?” She squints at Linhilde, but is unwilling to stop in pleasuring herself.

“Yes, I do. I’d even lick it from your fingers if you’d allow me. Clean it from your thighs after you climax.”

It has gotten just a little too intense and so Hapi pulls her hand away, allowing herself a few moments to breath heavily. Right now, that gaze that had once been unsettling or even frightening...now, it only serves to keep the fire deep in her belly burning hot.

“Linny...” she gasps again, lifting her hand to Linhilde’s lips.

Linhilde’s eyes widen in surprise but remain fixed on Hapi’s glistening fingers. Hapi can see her nostrils flare and she could swear her pupils even dilate as she carefully takes a hold of Hapi’s wrist.

Hapi pushes herself into a sitting position, Linhilde doing the same, sitting back and looking up at Hapi.

“You just said that you wanted to. Go ahead.”

Linhilde nods and then brings Hapi’s hand trembling to her lips. With a distinct kind of reverence, Linhilde pulls the tip of Hapi’s two fingers into her mouth. Linhilde greedily takes in as much of Hapi’s fingers as can fit, dragging her tong along them until not a drop of her cum remained. Hapi watches Linhilde with deep fascination.That desire to see Linhilde gasp and moan. It was renewed with vigour she had not even considered before.

“Ngnnnhh...” Linhilde lets out a low groan and suddenly her eyes roll back and a shudder runs through her whole body. A loud moan exits her mouth, but Linhilde refuses to let go of Hapi’s fingers, even as the sudden orgasm wracked her body.

“Did it really...taste that good?” Hapi asks, genuinely curious.

Linhilde nods, still breathless. Linhilde then moves to kiss her palm before reluctantly pulling her lips away. “Hapi, of course. You are someone who is deeply precious to me.”

Hapi glances away for a moment, Linhilde’s words still somehow managing to take her off guard.

Hapi then rather suddenly leans forward and kneels in front of Linhilde. Despite her fatigue after the sudden climax, Linhilde’s eyes widen and she jerks back, her legs spreading out as she sits back on her haunches. Hapi reaches forward, resting one hand on Linhilde’s thigh while continuing to meet her gaze. “I want to…taste you too.” Hapi says, unblinkingly.

Linhilde’s face flushes again, the red filling her skin to her shoulders. “Hapi—” Linhilde swallows thickly again and forces out a heavy breath. “Alright, shall I let you lick my fingers in the same—” but before Linhilde can get the words out, Linhilde lets out a positively unhinged wail as her clit and vulva, still flushed from climaxing so recently are all but assaulted by the sudden pressure of warm fingers.

By the time Linhilde realised it, Hapi’s fingers were already gone. Linhilde then watches Hapi bring her glistening fingers to her own lips and lick them clean, meeting Linhilde’s eyes the whole times. Hapi is unable to suppress a grimace at the initial flavour, but cleans her fingers nonetheless, and returns to watching Linhilde. “It tastes kinda weird,” she replies, resting her hands on Linhilde’s thighs once again.

Linhilde’s eyes squeeze shut and Linhilde has to take slow breaths to try and keep herself calm. “I apologise then for not being fully accurate. Yes, it is not actually a pleasant taste but…” Linhilde forces her eyes open to look at her again. “It is the taste of you.”

“I think I get it,” Hapi says, drawing her finger along a slick section of Linhilde’s inner thigh, causing her to shudder again. “It tastes weird but it tastes like…you.”

“I am glad that we are in agreement on that point,” Linhilde says through gritted teeth.

Hapi then flicks her eyes up to meet Linhilde’s again. “I’d like to do this more,” she says flatly.

Linhilde nods, rather shakily with another heavy breath. “I’m sure that can be arranged.”

Hapi then sits back again and puts her hand back between her legs. “But first, I want you to keep watching me.”

Linhilde nods shakily again, leaning back on her hands but not letting her eyes fall away.


	3. Chapter 3

Hapi’s hands snake into Linhilde’s hair slowly pulling the braids loose. She rests on top of Linhilde, pulling out each decorative clip and ribbon to put them to the side. Shame to undo Dorothea’s hard work, but she had to know that this was an inevitability. Linhilde’s eyes fall closed and begins to tug at her waist coat, loosening her belt and other obstructing garments. But Linhilde ultimately allows Hapi to take care of it, surrendering to Hapi’s whims.

With Linhilde now just in her pants, Hapi climbs up to sit on her stomach. Under the skirt of her dress, Linhilde can already feel the growing heat which makes her patience grow just a little thin. But Linhilde waits, prying open her eyes when she hears Hapi begin to fiddle with her own clothing.

Hapi busies herself with the clasps and laces of her corset, eventually getting it loose before setting it to the side on the growing pile of their clothing. Linhilde watches, meeting her gaze for a moment as Hapi prepares to remove her dress. Hapi’s expression, as well as Linhilde’s expression would appear rather blank to anyone observing them, but between the two of them, the intense desire was beyond clear. The way Hapi’s eyes linger on Linhilde, and the way Linhilde bites her lip. They can be patient in the moment, but in truth it has been nearly 5 years of waiting for this moment.

Hapi finally pulls her gown off over her head, her breasts falling free and inevitably drawing Linhilde’s full attention. Without the dress, this leaves her in her tight underwear and thigh-high stockings complete with garters. Hapi smirks and leans forward, pressing her growing wetness into Linhilde’s abdomen. Linhilde gasps and Hapi quickly grabs both of her hands and places them solidly on her bare hips.

Although Linhilde scarcely touched her during their academy days, she remembers how scrawny Hapi had once been. Hapi had been tormented, tortured. All those years where every touch had the high likelihood of only bringing her pain.

Linhilde moves her hands above the hem of Hapi’s underwear, caressing up her sides. One hand moves to Hapi’s back while the other moves forward along her stomach. Hapi lets out an unbridled sigh, clearly still finding her touch to be enjoyable. Linhilde brushes her fingertips over the fold of fat that spills over Hapi’s waistband, traces the lines of her stretch marks—proof that she is healthier now. Linhilde digs that hand into the generous fat around Hapi’s hips while her other hand ventures to the side of Hapi’s breast.

Hapi’s breasts too show signs of growth, Linhilde traces those lines of contrast with her right hand while her left hand rubs along her stomach. Hapi shifts her hips forward a bit so that her wetness seeps through her underwear and onto Linhilde’ abdomen.

Hapi lets out a light moan, rocking her hips against Linhilde’s. Linhilde's eyes squeeze shut ruts back in response. Hapi then leans forward and rests her hands on Linhilde’s enticing breasts, causing her to gasp. “Hapi...” Linhilde grimaces. “I—” Hapi’s thumbs brush over Linhilde’s nipples and Linhilde lets out a heavy shudder.

“Sorry Linny. Is that too much?”

“Not...necessarily,” Linhilde grimaces. “It just makes it difficult for me to...concentrate,” Linhilde says while fixing her eyes back on Hapi where her hands had gone still.

“I see,” Hapi then presses her lips together in contemplation.

“Would you...perhaps be alright with lying on your back?”

Hapi raises an eyebrow at Linhilde before it starts to fall into place. She hadn’t really cared when Linhilde suggested that she be on top, she after all didn’t have the experience to determine which position she even preferred. But now, Hapi understands Linhilde’s hesitancy.

Hapi sighs and gently pries Linhilde’s hand from her body. Linhilde takes on another look of worry, but Hapi darts down and kisses her swiftly and deeply in an act of reassurance. Hapi pulls away with some reluctance and then rolls off to the side. Linhilde remains there for a few moments, taking in a few deep breaths. Hapi watches Linhilde curiously for a moment before spreading out on her back.

“Hapi...” Linhilde sighs before rolling herself onto her side to gaze at her wife. Linhilde props herself up and then starts to wriggle out of the loose pants. Linhilde props herself over Hapi, her breasts hanging alluringly just out of Hapi’s reach.

Linhilde still has very little experience with dealing with the things that had previously caused pain. For most of her life Linhilde just ran away and ignored the memories of her hurt. But now, Linhilde has to try again. Linhilde had to reach out and know that this time it will be different.

Linhilde then lowers herself to Hapi’s body, nestling between her legs. Hapi’s legs wrap around Linhilde’s waist and they both let out a long shuddering sigh. Hapi slings her arms around Linhilde’s lower back and thrusts their hips together.

“Linny,” Hapi gasps. “I really like this...Linny,” she whispers her name against her neck in between her heavy breaths. “This feels...so good,”

Linhilde can only grunt in reply, being lost and nearly overwhelmed for the moment by finally feeling Hapi’s skin flush against her.

Even though Hapi’s sighs no longer brought the risk of monsters, she still had the lingering habit of holding back. And so Linhilde moved in to relieve her of that worry. Linhilde kisses her, and lets Hapi’s sigh be lost between her lips. There’s no rush, they both want to savour this. Linhilde lets her hands wander, up and down her sides as their bodies are locked together into a slow rhythm against each other.

Finally, Hapi tugs on Linhilde’s hair to get them to break for air. Their breaths come in heavy gasps as they gaze at one another for a few moments. Linhilde lifts one hand to cup the side of Hapi’s face and she closes her eyes and leans into that touch.

Hapi’s hips then start to writhe underneath Linhilde and she puts her legs down. “Uhg, sorry can you get off me for a second?”

Linhilde nods and quickly rolls off of her, pulling herself into a sitting position to carefully watch for her next need. Hapi pushes herself up, taking a few deep breaths before reaching down a hand to start peeling off her stockings. She removes both socks and then digs her fingertips into the waistband of her underwear. She pauses and glances to Linhilde with a nod. “You too.” She states before swiftly removing her underwear and tossing them aside.

Linhilde takes a few moments to respond, but complies, adding her undergarments to the pile. Hapi then rather suddenly crawls back and into Linhilde’s lap. Linhilde first looks at her face before her eyes drift downwards. Now with Hapi’s breasts so tantalisingly close, Hapi could swear she sees Linhilde’s mouth begin to water.

“Go ahead,” she says, running s hand through Linhilde’s hair while jerking her chest closer. Linhilde doesn’t hesitate before latching her lips around a nipple, already letting out a rather obscene moan. Hapi giggles, standing up on her knees so that Linhilde has adequate access to her breasts.

Linhilde's tongue swirls Hapi’s nipple before she drags her mouth along the skin and buries her face between Hapi’s breasts. “Tell me what feels best,” Linhilde mutters while gently pinching Hapi’s other nipple between her thumb and forefinger.

“I will,” Hapi murmurs in reply, continually stroking one hand through Linhilde’s hair. Hapi’s hips jerk back and forth in the air, occasionally bumping against Linhilde’s stomach in her search for friction. Linhilde pauses her lips just for a moment and shifts her legs underneath Hapi, lifting one knee towards her centre.

“Here,” Lin gasps. “Just ride on my leg,” Linhilde uses one hand on Hapi’s hips to guide her into place. Hapi seems confused at first but that quickly dissipates as soon as her vulva squishes into the smooth surface of Linhilde’s thigh.

“Ah—Ahhn…” Hapi’s hips then start to grind harder and deeper, finding the sensation from earlier but sharper and more acute. She grabs onto Linhilde’s shoulders, pressing Linhilde’s face back into her chest as she rides herself higher and higher. Linhilde then moves her lips to her other breast, gently working the other with her free hand.

“Remind me. What were the other things you wanted?” Hapi asks.

“Mm?” Lin asks without ceasing her suckling.

“You told me a whole list, back in the bath house.”

“Mm,” Linhilde tears her lips away, eyes resting in front of Linhilde, thoughtfully for a moment. “Well, this was one of them,” Linhilde pulls back a little further as to meet Hapi’s gaze. “My priority is that you feel as good as possible.”

“Well, you clearly know what you’re doing more than I do,” Hapi says with a slight frown. “I won’t know if I like something unless I try it at least once,” she says, rubbing her vulva up and down Linhilde’s leg in emphasis.

“Right…” Linhilde says, something like fear briefly flashing across her face. Something that Hapi hadn’t seen since—

“Hey,” Hapi says, lowering herself so that their faces were level. She lifts a hand to cup her cheek and meets her eyes. “I trust you, Linny. I know that you aren’t going to hurt me,” she says softly. “If something bad happens, it’s okay. We’ll work through it. I’m not gonna like, hate you or anything.”

Linhilde continues to hold her gaze before nodding minutely. “I…”

“If you want to take it slow, it’s really fine.”

Linhilde then lets her head fall to rest against her shoulder, looping her arms around her lower back. “No, it is alright. I need to learn how to face and deal with the pains of the past,” Linhilde says.

Hapi blinks, she doesn’t quite understand, but she strokes her cheek supportively nonetheless. “I’m here, Linny.”

Linhilde gives a noise in reply before dragging her hands down Hapi’s back. Linhilde digs her hands into Hapi’s rear, pulling her hips even closer. Hapi lets out a short moan before just letting Linhilde move her into position. Linhilde spreads her legs, lifting her hips so that Hapi’s left left leg slides under her. “Hapi…just sit back on your rear,” Linhilde instructs, holding out one hand to catch her arm as she does so.

Hapi stares at her face, but Linhilde continues to look down in embarrassment. “I promise I will do everything that I said I would—”

“Don’t worry about it. Just finish whatever you’ve started,” she says, her eyes glancing down to how their legs were arranged. Hapi’s left leg was hooked over Linhilde’s hips, while Linhilde’s own mirrored hers. Hapi can see now that Linhilde was just as, if not more aroused than Hapi herself is. Linhilde’s clitoris is prominent between her folds, her less pronounced pubis mons only serving to emphasise her desire. Linhilde is dripping wet, her breaths coming heavy as Linhilde finally cast her gaze to Hapi’s own arousal.

“You quite enjoyed rubbing your vulva against my leg, correct?” Linhilde asks.

“Yeah, I did,” Hapi replies, her eyes still lingering between her legs. She wanted to touch it, taste it, someday. Linhilde would surely teach her and then she could return the promises Linhilde would soon fulfil.

“Then I have a new suggestion,” Linhilde says, tightening her leg around her hip, pulling her even closer. “We can rub our vulvae and clitorises together, like this.”

“Seems fine,” she then finally looks up at Linhilde. “Why’re you so nervous, though?”

Linhilde bites her lip. “Forgive me, it’s not that I wish to hide anything—”

Hapi then pulls herself forward again, touching Linhilde’s cheek. “It’s fine. Let’s just try it, okay? I’m sure it will be great.”

Linhilde nods and turns her face to kiss Hapi’s palm. Linhilde then grabs hold of that hand while leaning back and bracing herself on her other arm. Hapi watches and follows her lead, keeping herself braced while thrusting her hips toward’s Linhilde’s.

Their vulvae then meet in a sudden moment of joint moans, Hapi quickly ruts her hips in further and Linhilde all but wails. Linhilde's hips quiver before she joins hapi in a regular grinding motion. She squeezes Hapi’s hand tightly and lets out moans and gasps in time with their regular thrusts.

Linhilde’s mouth falls open while her eyes threaten to fall closed as her face contorts in ways that Hapi had not seen before. Linhilde looks completely blissful and Hapi can’t help but be lost in turn. It’s a little weird at first, as it’s so new, but it feels good so she has no reason to complain. And above all, seeing Linhilde’s complete enjoyment makes it all the more worth while to her. Hapi’s understands now, the layers of hesitation that had held Linhilde back, and how Linhilde clearly _needed_ that response and confirmation from her. She’s more than happy to oblige.

“Aahh!” Hapi moans, grabbing onto Linhilde’s thigh to rock their hips together with even more force. Linhilde appears to falter a little bit, her body convulsing as Linhilde then falls backwards onto the pillows.

Hapi jerks forward, about to pull away to check but Linhilde clamps down.

“No…keep going,” Linhilde gasps. Hapi nods and finds a new position, fucking Linhilde slowly with her clit, wrapping her leg tightly around Linhilde’s thigh. Hapi can feel herself cresting, the heights of pleasure that Linhilde’s patient instruction had taught her how to achieve, and now finally, she was about to find that bliss again. She can feel Linhilde, her heat, her desire, the quivering of her hips as Linhilde too threatens to spill over. The overwhelming soft slickness between them, the sounds of their gasps and moans, it all coils together until the tight knot finally comes undone and Hapi lets out an unbridled cry.

Linhilde follows soon after, her eyes squeezed shut as she clings desperately to Hapi’s leg. Linhilde clearly doesn’t want to let go, doesn’t want this to end, but Hapi does choose to pull away. An unwitting disappointed groan falls from Linhilde’s lips as Hapi flops down on the bed next to her. But it is really all right, they need a moment to catch their breath and bask in the afterglow.

Hapi manages to slow her breathing to a reasonable level and then turns her head over to look at Linhilde. Linhilde is flushed and sweaty, and the skin of her inner thighs is still slick with cum, but Hapi notices something else. She draws near and rubs her thumb over Linhilde’s cheek, wiping away a single tear that had begun to slide down her face. She doesn’t say anything further, only pulls close, slinging an arm around Linhilde’s waist and resting her chin on the crown of Linhilde’s head.

Judging by the circumstances, Hapi can only assume that these are tears of joy. But even if they aren’t there will be plenty of time to ask once the two of them are rested. And indeed, Linhilde appears to have fallen asleep instantly. Hapi has no complaints, it’s warm here and she likes it. Linhilde has stayed with her this whole time, just like Linhilde had promised. And so, of course, driven by the strength that their closeness provides, Hapi can now hold Linhilde in return and return that promise.


End file.
